oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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