It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
