meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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