Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Found the puke drawer
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
