i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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