Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
