Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
