i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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