? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
