I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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