Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
