my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
