Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
