Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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