my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
