Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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