there was a trapeze. enough said
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
