I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
