I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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