At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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