So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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