i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
