today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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