11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
