I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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