you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
