That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
