I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
