Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
