Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
