Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
