Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
