Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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