is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
