Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
