it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
