I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
