Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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