I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize