I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How does one acquire holy water?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
