I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize