Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
