I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
