I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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