Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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