I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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