Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I enjoy the company of your penis
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
