From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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