my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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