The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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