How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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