I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
