she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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