good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
