Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
