just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
