I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
