Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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