fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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