its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
