It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
