we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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