11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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