Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
